A lot of my
friends joke with me about not having a smart phone. I’m sure I’ll get one sometime, but right now
it’s not a priority for me. Why do I
need a smart phone when I have a laptop?
The truth
is that I like taking breaks from the internet.
(I recognize writing a blog post about taking breaks from the internet
is ironic!) Don’t get me wrong—I love
seeing what my favorite authors tweet, I love watching funny videos on youtube,
I love seeing the photos that my cousins post, I love randomly chatting with
old friends from high school or college on facebook, and I love the opportunity
to share my stories on a blog.
But
sometimes I can tell that I need a break.
I only say
this because I wonder if you needed to hear that too. I wonder if you need permission to take
regular breaks from the internet.
I’m not
sure if I can explain it. Maybe it’s
because I’m slightly introverted, so sometimes I just need to take a break from
interaction with people—even online interaction. Even if I’m not talking with anyone online,
even I’m just reading through people’s tweets or facebook posts, I can feel
overloaded. Not always, just
sometimes. I don’t have a clear
description of that overloaded feeling…maybe it’s just that my mind needs a
break. My mind needs to focus on my
work, on my family, on my prayers. But
also, my mind just needs to unwind. My
mind just needs to go to bed or watch a movie or eat a sandwich without staring at a screen to read one more email or
read one more article.
There is
some backlash to this, though. The worst
thing is that I sometimes don’t respond very quickly to emails (especially on
the weekends or if I have a conference or something that takes me away from my
desk at work). I am trying to do a
better job with this because I know that people deserve a timely response to
their email. But I still want to stick
to my value that there is a time and a place for emails, for social media, for
constant news updates and constant connection.
Here’s What I’m Learning…
1. Don’t sacrifice
being a good listener to those you love.
Once I was
talking to my friend Emily after she got back from living in another country
for 3 years. We were talking at my
church, and her phone rang.
“Oh, go
ahead and get that if you need to,” I told her.
“No, it’s
fine.” She said that in the country
where she lived, people were not so constantly attached to their smart
phones. So when she came back to the
U.S., she rejected the expectation to always answer her phone even when she was
already talking to someone else. She
said, “I just don’t think a phone call is more important than the conversation
that I am actually having face to face.” I appreciated her perspective and her
willingness to focus on me while we were talking.
Author Jon
Acuff discussed this topic as well. One
day his wife was talking to him, and then his phone buzzed. While she was still talking, he looked down
to check his phone. His wife said to
him, “Jon, it’s like you just put me on pause.”
He realized checking that tweet or that email was actually pushing the
pause button on his wife. Just like she
was a podcast or a vimeo video—instead of the woman he loved.[1]
Being a
good listener is one of the most important relationship skills. David Augsburger said, “Being heard is so
close to being loved, that for the average person, they are almost
indistinguishable.”[2]
Most of my friends and family members are going to feel my love when I listen
to them, ask them questions about how they are doing, and offer my support. I’m not perfect at this, but I don’t want to
put my loved ones on pause. I don’t want
to sacrifice being a good listener to them.
2. I want to simplify
and protect my digital footprint
Jon Acuff
also discussed the idea of protecting our digital footprint. Our digital
footprint is everything that we ever post online.[3]
Acuff said that we are the first generation that has had to worry about our
digital footprint, our digital reputation.
And we are the first generation that—in addition to having the sex talk
and the drug talk with kids—we also need to have the talk with kids to help
them learn how to protect their digital footprint.[4]
I am
selective about posting photos or videos of me.
I am selective about what I retweet on Twitter simply because I don’t
want to cause needless arguments. When I was writing posts that talked about
money, I asked 3 people to read it to make sure that I didn’t give too many
personal details. Maybe I am being too
cautious, but maybe I’ll look back and be glad I didn’t “share” too much.
This is
something that I have internally struggled with as I have written my blog. What is beneficial for me to share that will
encourage others (instead of just being my emotional vomit)? What details do not need to be shared because
people won’t be able to understand the full context? At first, I didn’t even want to post any
photos in my blog because I didn’t’ want people to see what my house looked
like…because it might tempt some people to envy if they do not have a new house
or it might invite some criticism. But
my friends encouraged me to get over that paranoia and be happy to share that
part of the journey because most everyone will enjoy seeing the photos. I think it’s important for me to consider
carefully everything I post online and to remember that it’s a healthy thing to
keep some (or a lot of) things to myself—to leave some things left for me to
share with people in real-life settings.
***If you
are a parent (or a grandparent or aunt/uncle or teacher, etc.), I encourage you
to consider how you teach your children to protect their digital
footprint. Please read Jon Acuff’s
articles, “Why Kids Crash on Social Media,” and “Four Questions Every Parent Should Ask Their Child about Social Media.”
3. I take a weekly
Sabbath from the internet.
I’m sure
the first century Pharisees would give me a dirty look for saying the word Sabbath with the internet. But that’s how I look at it. It’s a Sabbath, a day to simplify. It’s some
quiet from the noise, some quiet to listen to God’s voice instead of my
favorite authors’ voices. And it’s a rest from getting online and fighting…
the
temptation to waste time,
the
temptation to procrastinate,
the
temptation to compare myself to others,
the
temptation to judge others,
the
temptation to worry about things I shouldn’t be worrying about.
It’s a rest from that overloaded feeling of life. So every week—on my day off—I do my best not
to look at the internet for 24 hours.
Sometimes I have to send an email for work or something, but for the
most part, I follow this guideline. And it is good for me.
Of course,
there are a million things that I love about the internet. But as people who are navigating how to live
in the new age of technology, we have to consider how to be wise, how to be
healthy, and how to be examples to the next generation of kids who are growing
up holding iPads in their car seats.
[1]
Jon Acuff told this story while speaking at the Orange Tour on October 17,
2014.
[2] http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/288161-being-heard-is-so-close-to-being-loved-that-for.
[3] http://www.cybersmart.gov.au/Kids/Get%20the%20facts/Digital%20footprint.aspx.
[4] Jon
Acuff discussed this when he spoke at the Orange Tour on October 17, 2014.
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