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| Dad & me! |
After I
finish the 31-day blogging challenge, I’m going to take a long break from
blogging about me. My next writing
project will be to write a book with my dad.
My dad has told me for years that he wants me to help him write a book
about the experiences he’s had in almost 40 years of church ministry—all the
things he has seen God do, all the things he has learned to do, and all the
things he has learned not to do in
leading a church.
Dad helped
me put my mailbox together last weekend.
(He was actually doing all the work.
I was just holding it in place and occasionally handing him the
screwdriver.) As he was working on my
mailbox, I told him that I was ready to start writing his book with him. “It’s super easy to self publish something,
Dad. Have you thought about what
chapters you want to write?”
He sighed,
“I think I wrote them down somewhere, but I forget.”
I laughed,
thinking, This is why he needs me to help
him make this happen.
My dad’s
office is just 2 doors down from mine at church. I started working on his church staff 5 and a half years ago. It’s pretty special, I know.
I was hired
onto the church staff right before I graduated from college. A few weeks before graduation, I ran into my
friend Laura on campus. Laura had lost
her dad to cancer in January of that year.
As we chatted in the dorm lobby, Laura asked me what I was going to do
after graduation. I told her that I was
going to work with my dad at the church.
Laura
smiled and said, “I would give anything to be able to work with my dad.”
I didn’t
know what to say, but I nodded. Finally,
I said, “I’m very thankful.”
I still
think about Laura’s words often.
Dad didn’t
actually offer me the job. Pastor
Paul—our family life pastor—was the one who called me and asked me to meet with
him. I was 21 and was just a few months
away from graduating from college. At
that point, I knew that I wanted to work in a church teaching the bible and
shepherding people to grow in their faith.
I had prepared my resume and was ready to apply to churches all over
Indiana (near my family) and in Michigan (where my profs had connections) and
wherever God would open up an opportunity.
I was willing to work with teenagers, children, adults—any area of
ministry where I would have the opportunity to teach God’s Word and to guide
people into a growing relationship with Christ.
I met with
Paul during the hour before our church service started. It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving—6 years
ago this very week. Paul explained the
job description of what he wanted me to do:
leading children’s ministry and assisting Paul with family
ministry. Both sounded wonderful to me. I walked out of his office thinking, Did that really just happen? All throughout that Thanksgiving service, I
kept telling God thank you for how He
had provided this job for me.
I had to go
back to college that night. The next day
I was walking through the student center when my phone rang. It was Dad.
“Did Paul
give you something to think about?” he asked.
I chuckled
at the obvious. “Yeah. There’s a lot to
think about.” But I never doubted that
this was what I wanted to do.
Some have
asked me what it’s like to work with my dad.
The basic answer is that besides our weekly staff meetings, most
workweeks don’t require us to work together.
If there is a major issue or if I need to present something to the elder
board, I’ll go into his office and discuss it with him. Usually, though, its just that I’ll stop in
his office to say “Hey” and “How late are you staying tonight?” and “I didn’t
know you were going to India” and “Did you see that picture Rachel just texted
us of Russ?” and “I don’t think that shirt matches your pants.”
The
realistic answer to what it’s like to work with my dad is this: Sometimes we ride to work together. Sometimes Dad pops into my office when I’m in
a meeting and asks to borrow my car keys.
Sometimes when Dad is on vacation, my coworkers will ask me to text him
about something. Sometimes I’ll tell a funny story about Dad to my coworkers
when we’re all eating lunch together. Sometimes
after I have presented something at a meeting, Dad will later say, “Mary,
you’re saying Uh and Um so much. Just pause instead of saying Um.”
Sometimes I need someone to help me carry a table or move furniture, and
I’ll first ask Dad before asking anyone else.
Sometimes Dad sees that I’m setting up for an event, and he’ll stay late
to help me to do it.
We’ve
ridden together for hospital visits, and we’ve ridden together to the homes of
families who have unexpectedly lost a loved one. He has looked at me in the car and said, “It
doesn’t get much more heart-wrenching than this.” I’ve seen my dad extend comfort and care to
families during their time of loss, and it makes me admire him all the more.
Once Dad
was preparing for a funeral when he came down with the stomach flu. He called me into his bedroom. He was lying flat on his back in his bed with
the lights off. He hadn’t moved for
hours. With his hands over his eyes, he
managed to say, “Mary, I need you to go their house tomorrow. Talk to them,
write up the tribute, and share it at the funeral.” I was nervous about it because this was a
very tragic situation, but I also was happy to help, especially if Dad trusted
me to do it.
Otherwise, Dad
and I almost never talk about church work at home. We do like to share good stories of things
that have happened at church recently, but any planning that needs discussion
or any problems that need attention—that we don’t ever bring up at home or at
birthday parties or at ballgames. I
guess my dad has learned over the years that it can be healthy to take a break,
to leave well enough alone until the next day at the office.
I have
heard many pastors and ministry leaders talk about the struggle to not “bring
work home with them.” (I imagine this is
true of most jobs.) But after I made it
through my initial 6 months or so on the job, I have not struggled with
this. I believe that is because I have
seen my father model it so well. I do
not take this for granted because my mom has told me that it took time for my
dad to figure this out. But I have
gleaned it more easily because of his experience and his example to me.
A few weeks
ago, Dad texted me to ask if I’d pick him up for work the next morning. I replied, “Yes, I’ll be there to get you at
9:00.”
Dad texted
back. “Why so early? 9:30.”
I laughed
so hard. I know that 9:00 really isn’t
early. Most of my friends have to leave
for work by 7:30am. But Dad’s schedule
usually includes late night meetings and weekend hours, so he is not the early
bird to the office. And my coworkers
would tell you that I have followed this trend as well.
So I texted
back, “Lol You’re the boss. See you at
9:30.”
More often
than not, I am introduced by people in our congregation as “the pastor’s
daughter” instead of as the director of children’s ministry and women’s
ministry. But I don’t mind that at
all. Why would it bother me? I am more
proud of my dad than I am of my seminary degree. My daddy has spent his life building this
church. I know the good, the bad, and
the ugly about our church just as well as anyone—and I love this church with my
every breath. Seeing what Dad has worked hard to build, remembering all the
times he has fasted and prayed for our congregation, reliving the miracles and
the joys that God has done for Dad—they have only caused me to want to further
that.
Shouldn’t
we write these things down? We don’t
want to forget.
The cool
thing is that my younger brother David is now going into ministry as well. Dave wants to be a church planter, and now
Dad will get to live it all again with Dave.
Dave needs this book from Dad, and I need it too. If you see Dad in the next few weeks and
months, encourage him to write this book. #legacyalert
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| Dad & Dave on Brazil missions trip |
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