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| A little snapshot of my bedroom this morning |
About a
month ago, my friend Rachel gave me the book The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful by
Myquillyn Smith. It’s so applicable for
me right now as I jump into the homemaking process. I’m writing a 3-part series of what I’m learning
from the book.
Today is
“It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful, Part 1: Creating Intentional
Spaces.”
Myquillyn
Smith writes that before we start redecorating, we first need to define the
purpose of our home—we need to consider how to create intentional spaces.[1]
Intentional Spaces. Thinking about the purpose of it before
purchasing a bunch of stuff off the shelves from Bed, Bath, & Beyond.
Intentional Spaces. Sometimes I have felt a little inept when it
comes to design…often feeling overwhelmed when I try and then just doing
whatever is easiest.
Intentional Spaces. Intentional spaces do not have to be
impressive spaces. Intentional spaces do
not have to live up to anyone else’s standards.
They simply need to be what you purpose them to be.
Intentional Spaces. It’s good for us to
dream about what we want it to be. It’s
good to believe that you and I have it in us to create the space for our
families and guests to feel the way we hope they will feel in our home.
So here is
the question Myquillyn asks us: “How do you want people to feel when they come
over? How do you want your family to feel about the home they live in?”[2]
Myquillyn shared her goals of what she wants her house to be[3]:
·
A place to connect.
·
A safe place to make mistakes.
·
A place of inspiration.
·
A place of authenticity.
·
A place of comfort.
·
A place of rest.
·
A place of joy.
·
A place of contentment.
Did you
roll your eyes at Myquillyn’s list? Does it seem unrealistic in the hectic pace
of life? Or do like her list and only
wish those goals were attainable?
Or maybe
you’re a veteran, and you know the secret—you know that setting your eyes on
your goals can little by little bring them to life, bring them to your life.
You look back, and your home isn’t a place of guilt, but it has been the place,
the space, the grace you wanted it to be.
We shouldn’t
make changes or spend money or scroll through Pinterest because we’re
discontent…but we do it because we’ve decided how we want people to feel in our
home, and we dare to create the space for those we love.
 |
| My little hall bath |
As I’ve considered my intentions for my home, I’ve decided
this is what I want it to be…
A place of
togetherness.
When I had
the option to choose my floor plan, I chose an open concept. I guess it was because I wanted togetherness
in my home. Togetherness
implies love and joy, snuggles and laughter.
Our schedules pull us apart during so many of our hours and days, so
whenever we are at my home at the same time, I want us to enjoy
togetherness. I want people cooking in
the kitchen to be able to talk to people watching the game in the living
room. (Let’s be real—I also want to
watch the game from where I’m cooking.)
Decoration Application: Leave space in the living room to be able to
play a game or build a Lego tower. Emphasize
coziness—blankets, pillows, maybe a beanbag chair to be brought in when needed.
A place where arrows
don’t fly.
We would
all buy peace and harmony if they were on sale.
And right now as I live by myself, it’s easy for my home to be a place
of peace instead of a battleground. But
I hope that it will always be a place that we remember we are on the same team
instead of fighting against each other.
I don’t want to use our words as weapons, as arrows to hurt those we
ought to love most.
Decoration Application: There is, perhaps, nothing I can do with
decorations to manufacture peace and harmony…except maybe celebrate the
uniqueness of each family member and somehow incorporate that into the
home.
I have read
that some people choose a painting or a sign to hang somewhere in their house
to serve as a reminder that their house will be a place of peace. In the midst
of arguments, one of the family members will point to the sign, and they will
respect the sign, submit to their rule of peace, lay down their weapons, and
remember they are on the same team.
Perhaps whenever I get married, my husband and I can pick out a sign or
a symbol of peace to hang somewhere in our home to keep us accountable to peace
and harmony.
A place where I can
take a Sabbath.
I’m
learning more and more how important it is to make room for a “Sabbath margin”
in my life.[4] I want to be able to rest in my home, to
read, to pray, to write, to not have to wear my hats, but to just wear my smile
and close my eyes in safety.
There is
one small space in my home that I want to be able to turn into a prayer
corner. Of course, I could pray
anywhere, but I hope to make that space a sacred little spot where I remember
that I am dependent upon God.
Also, I’m
so satisfied that my bedroom is a calm paint color. I want it to be a room where I can breathe
freely and dream in peace and gratitude.
Decoration Application: Gather what I need for my prayer corner. Continue the calm—don’t clutter my bedroom
with any decorations that are loud or bright or intense.
A place where I don’t
try to be impressive.
It’s in our
nature to try to measure ourselves by what we accomplish. It could be easy to get caught up in striving
to meet my own expectations of what I want people to think of me. But I want to be intentional to make my home
a place where I don’t try to be impressive.
I don’t want to be preoccupied with trying to be impressive with how
clean my house is or with how yummy my food is or with how beautiful my house
is. The flip side: I should also not be
preoccupied or disgruntled with how not
clean or not yummy or not beautiful everything is. My home shouldn’t be about me, but it should
be focused on caring for those who come into my home.
Decoration Application: Never purchase something with the motivation
of trying to impress others.
A place that is a
healing home.
When I first
got connected with someone from DCS for me to begin the process of getting
licensed for foster care, I saw an ad for a foster care conference titled
“Building a Healing Home.” The ad showed
up at the bottom of every email from DCS. I’d stop by my house to check on the
construction process, and I’d think about that ad—building a healing home. Maybe it wasn’t just the title for the
conference; maybe it’s the title for my house.
It’s
probably presumptuous to think that my house could be a healing home, but I
believe in the Healer—the One who heals physical, emotional, mental
wounds. Yesterday I taught children at
church how Jesus healed the 10 men with a skin disease, and I also tried my
best to teach them that Jesus can heal us of our sin disease. If I believe
that the One I serve is the Healer, then I must also believe it when He told me
that my house is to be a healing home.
Decoration Application: If this is a season for me where abused or
neglected children may come in and out of my home, then what kind of
intentional space should I create? I have chosen a few pictures to hang on the
walls that I hope the kids will remember—pictures that I hope show them a
metaphor of God’s love for them even when they may not have experienced it from
their earthly parents.
 |
| I first saw this painting online when I was in college. I printed it off and put it in a birthday card for a young girl that I worked with at my college church. I found it last winter at a store and quickly bought it with Christmas money from my grandparents. It means a lot to me, and I hope it will mean something to those who are in my home. |
Come back in a day or two to read Part 2.
[1]
Smith, Myquillyn. (2014). The
Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful. Grand Rapids,
MI: Zondervan.
[2]
Smith, Myquillyn. (2014). The
Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful. Grand Rapids,
MI: Zondervan.
[3]
Smith, Myquillyn. (2014). The
Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful. Grand Rapids,
MI: Zondervan.
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