Monday, August 25, 2014

Week 12: Singleness, Part 1--Seasons


Siding is done, so now I'm excited to see them put on the stone!

It took 5 electric poles to run electricity to my house!


We celebrated that they turned on my power this week! 

“The weaknesses we often despise are required for the light of Christ to be seen and for the darkness around us to be dispelled. Without [our] limitations and deficiencies… we would not serve our purpose well. Your weakness is not a liability.  It is one of your greatest assets.  God’s presence and power are best seen when our large, impressive personalities aren’t getting in the way.”[1]
--Priscilla Shirer, Gideon: Your Weakness, God’s Strength

“But Christ said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
--2 Corinthians 12:9

Ever since my brother and I saw the Jimmy Fallon hashtag skit with Justin Timberlake, we like to joke by saying “Hashtag” (crossing our fingers to make a pound sign) in our conversations.  He might ask me, “Does this shirt match these pants?”
And I’ll say, “Hashtag cute.  Hashtag swag.  Hashtag babyboy.”  (Because you know, no matter how old he is, he will still be the beloved baby boy to Mom and Grandma.) 
This is a dumb way to communicate, but once you start, you can’t stop.  I don’t actually even use hashtags very often in social media, but Dave and I like to joke around with it.

Sometimes I chuckle when I think the hashtags to myself.  I have to say that my favorite hashtag is #seasonoflife.
Someone would say to me, “Hey, this might be weird, but I know this guy, and you should really meet him.  Can I give him your number?” 
And I think, #sure.  #imusedtoit  #isheanIUfan? #seasonoflife

When someone would ask me where I’m living, I’d say, “With my parents.”  #itscool  #youknowhowitis #seasonoflife

When I’d have 4 assignments due in 3 hours, I’d take a deep breath and think, #igotthis #justkeepwriting #seasonoflife

When talking to my friends who are moms of little ones, I’d tell them, “I don’t ever get up until 7:30 or 8:00am, and I take 20-minute showers.”  They glare at me, but I smile.  #sleepisabeautifulthing  #imenjoyingitwhileitlasts #seasonoflife

When I’d tell people that I was building a house, they’d sometimes raise an eyebrow at me and ask, “By yourself?”

Well, the construction crew is actually doing the work, and my parents are there to offer advice, and my sister is helping me with the design elements, but yes…I’m building this house by myself.  #seasonoflife

My smooth daddy was smoothing out my bumpy driveway... so thankful for his help!

I suppose all of us have a few moments everyday that we could freeze and say, “#seasonoflife.” What are yours?

Whenever we identify a moment as a freeze frame of our season of life, we have some options…
We can laugh because it’s funny.
We can hug because it’s beautiful.
We can sigh because we’re tired of it.
We can roll our eyes because we’re sick of it.
We can even cry because it’s so long, and when will the winter ever be over?
If you’re like me, you don’t even want to talk about winter because of how terrible our Indiana winter was this past year.  But even that winter—with record amounts of snowfall and record number of days with freezing temperatures—even that winter came to an end.  And we all danced outside when it was finally 40 degrees.  I still have vivid memories of the cold and the snow—so much that I don’t want it to snow one drop next winter, not even on Christmas—but today as I write this, it’s 90 degrees and humid.  So I remember that even terrible seasons pass, and the good seasons pass too quickly.   

This past Christmas I was reading about Mary, the mother of Jesus, in Luke chapter 1.  I have often been in awe at how young Mary was when she received the “assignment” from God to carry, deliver, and parent God’s Son, but I hadn’t thought about how important her season of life was to this assignment.  Luke 1:27 gives the details about her season: the angel visited Mary when she was a “virgin pledged to be married.”
God chose Mary to have baby Jesus at the exact perfect season of her life—she was a virgin pledged to be married to Joseph.  Her virginity was important so God could display His power and the divine nature of Christ through the virgin birth.  Yet Mary was also pledged to Joseph.  In that window of time of her engagement was when God started His work.  He showed His power through her singleness and also provided Joseph for her even before she knew she needed him.  He gave Joseph to her when she needed him most.

The timing of her role in God’s plan and the timing of her season of life matched up perfectly.  Do you think it’s the same with us?

Every Thursday morning for the past 5 years, I have met with a group of women for bible study.  I love this group of women and can’t imagine living without their prayers, encouragement, and input into my life.  Right now I’m the youngest in the group.  Some of the women are in their 70s and 80s.  Last week one told me, “Growing old is not for the weak.”  I believe that she was referring not only to all the physical ailments, but also to the constant grieving over the loss of loved ones.  Each year they bury someone so dear to their heart—a husband, a brother, a sister, a cousin, a next-door neighbor, a childhood friend.  On top of this, they must cut back on their activities because they are losing strength and energy.  Their season has its own difficulties and limitations, but I am benefiting every week from their input in my life.  They are glorifying God in their season.

Every other Tuesday morning at our church, a MOPS group meets.  MOPS stands for Mothers Of PreSchoolers, so this group is only for mothers of children 5 years and younger.  I have the privilege of being the church liaison for their group, so sometimes I meet with their leadership team.  These sweet women are burping babies and breaking up fights between their 4 year old and 2 year old. They have toddlers crawling all over their laps and clinging to their legs and crawling under the table. But they come together on Tuesdays, drop their kids off in their classrooms, and then sit and listen to each other.  They tell each other, “You are a good mom.  What you are doing for your kids right now is important.” They can relate to how each other feels, and they speak truth into each other’s lives.  They may feel that they aren’t accomplishing anything because so much of their time and energy is limited. But they are glorifying God in their season.

Peter Scazerro writes, “Your season of life is a God-given limit.”[2]  Scazzero believes that limits are a gift because they help us to focus on our priorities. He writes that we should embrace the gift of limits, so that we aren’t running ourselves ragged, trying to be something that is impossible for us at this time.

 I agree that every season of life brings its own limitations. But I also believe that every season is a gift, and we should be cautious not to assume those limitations are automatic excuses for what we should do and shouldn’t do.  We should remember that God likes to do the unthinkable.

If you haven’t done it lately, consider talking to God about the limitations you feel you have during this season.  That’s what Mary did when she asked the angel, “How will this be since I am a virgin?” (Luke 1:34).  It’s a legitimate question. She had a serious limitation when it comes to giving birth to a child.  But this was God’s plan, and her limitation became the exact detail that displayed the truth that Jesus was the Son of God. What was impossible for a human was made possible by God.

When I was reading Mary’s story last Christmas, I felt so determined to glorify God during my particular season.  I don’t want it to pass and for me to have missed a chance to show God’s power in a way that I never can again. 
Thankfully, none of us will have Mary’s assignment of giving birth to God’s Son.  No, we have different roles to play in God’s story.  I don’t know if your season right now includes dying your gray hair every 6 weeks or cleaning toddler poop off the wall every 6 hours.  But I do know that if we try to see the unseen, we might catch a glimpse of how our season can display God’s power.

When I signed my name a hundred times for the house plans and the construction loan, there was always an empty spot for a spouse’s signature.  If you’ve ever bought or built a house by yourself, then you know that tight feeling in your stomach when you go to sign your name—you feel like you’re pulling a trigger, and you wish someone was there to pull it with you.  I would have gladly traded some spats over carpet color and kitchen layout for a spouse to carry half of the emotional and financial stress.  I learned firsthand that while singleness can offer lots of awesome freedom, it can also make some burdens feel heavier.

But my limitation as a single person with a single income with a single mind to juggle all the decisions and tasks—my limitation during this assignment was part of God’s plan for me.  Truly, because of how much I grew and because of all the incredible ways God provided for me, I can only feel thankful about that.  And… I get to paint my bathroom purple because no one will whine about it. J  #eachseasonhasitsperks #seeingtheunseen #seasonoflife



P.S. Next week I’m going to post Part 2 about my view on singleness because I hope it will encourage others in this season.  I also want to tell you that on Saturday, I was able to share “Singleness, Part 1” and “Singleness Part 2” with 5 single women that I admire.  We had a great discussion.  It included lots of agreement and disagreement and laughter and honesty and glimpses of God’s faithfulness to us.  I’m really looking forward to sharing their responses when I post Part 3!   

In the meantime, enjoy the song “Write Your Story” by Francesca Battistelli that encourages us to be open to the different plans God has for our seasons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecV1NHmELuA.

They put up trim around my doorways and windows.



[1] Shirer, Priscilla. (2013).  Gideon: Your Weakness. God’s Strength.  Nashville, Tennessee: LifeWay Press.
[2] Scazzero, Peter. (2003).  The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives.  Grand Rapids, MI:  Zondervan.

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